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i think one day i will write something terribly logical and bitterly ironic about this day they ignore, because the one side thinks they lost the war, and the other side refuses to admit they are not in moscow. i mean, the 8th of may. i mean, the day when the western world lost half of its totalitarian civilisations.

the other half remained. and now, sitting in the ruins of this other half, people try really hard to forget. and by forgetting this, they forget who they are. and there can be no peace, no reconciliation, whilst we forget.

(interlinear translation mine) Read More

today, at some point, holding my frame together with sheer willpower, trying to be sociable and coherent, i suddenly realised that all i really wanted, even longed for, was controllable levels of pain . nothing fancy, just that.
gee, are my standards deteriorating and ideals imploding.

Posted by Wordmobi

today i accidentally (i normally do not do this, as there are better things to do) stumbled upon one of the major latvian language newspapers (relatively major and relatively newspaper, more of yellow press sort of thing), diena, and it had this headline (here and below, all translations mine) on the front page: “Why this experiment? To what end?” (http://www.diena.lv/lat/politics/viedokli/kapec-eksperiments-kads-merkis). Summarily: the journalists of the said newspaper propose secondary school students to become ‘secret agents’ who would make audio recordings (by stealth, and behind the teachers’ back) of classes, then submit the recordings to the journalists, who would “seek expert analysis of the classroom work” and publish the results (not disclosing the name of the teacher or the school, or so they say). The newspaper explains this as an incentive to “start a discussion about the quality of the education,” concluding that “in this case, the goal justifies the means. The society has the right to judge everyone who steps ‘on the stage’ – be it a film, drama performance, ice hockey players, journalists or a teacher in class.”

now, this does not even make me angry. there is a different word for this. this nauseates me. it nauseates me as a teacher (of sorts), as a christian, and as a member of the above mentioned society with the “right to judge”.

as a teacher, i am disgusted by another attempt to discredit the profession, and break the already fragile trust that must be formed between the teacher and the student in order for anything – anything at all – to be achieved in the classroom. Read More

caught like the butterflies
in the never-ending fire
of death,
we still aspire, still
hope, still
try mending the holes
in this incomplete
pattern of advances and retreats,
visions and divisions
called life.

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* a novel by Kazuo Isiguro, now a film. you want to read it, you want to see it. you want to feel it. the never let me go.

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