illustration pending (or how sunshine and too many blossoms can remind of Avallon)

aloofly, the chestnuts

shower the senseless asphalt

with fragments of pink and off-white.

the sun turns green all over

the birch-besieged streetlets,

and the younger lovers

hide not their excitement,

just like the starlings,

desperately nesting, in

defiance and in glorification

of all that shines, sings, transcends

the frozen drifts of before.

apple-trees emit fragrances,

burning exceptional in the morning,

dazzling every breathing moment

with a presence of the land

ever in spring-time, ever to the West.

flowing so (actually the title i intended was April 17, 2012, but the sudden sun between clouds messed it up)

little reflections, ripples in reality
diamond shards of a lost moment – we
scintillate and mirror the breath
that shares us all, only

a pure prism of a dewdrop
throws a rainbow more devout.

the logic of love

(offtopic) chaffinch starts his song at 06:43 in the morning.

——————————————————————————–

i chose Christ, not because i feared to die,
but rather because He did not;

i walk with Him not because of religion,
but of companionship,

call it love. i do not know who
loved whom first – i in my finite predisposition, or He

in His infinity.

 

a contemplation of the continuity of life in the light of certain strategy games

maybe- and maybe again -
we will not die, but continue   
on a starless path, through
rejection and guesses, till
that one final moment of in-
decision, incision, cutting so deep
into the texture of dreams that
the truth will come out

like so much infected flesh, like
a question no-one dared to ask,
like a task never completed,
the always-known will come out
of our wounds of transition, of our
desperate awarenesses, that eternal engine
which propels all souls to the quest
of eternity… maybe we will not die

but see how we change, from
static chrysalises to new-fangled
Zerg. from a moment of summoning
to a living building, we shall be warped, changed, restructured.

and then we shall redeem

death.

the weather makers

they say, one swallow does not make a summer. does a flock (oh dear, do they flock at all?) of larks make a spring? or does a daffodil, for that matter?

but spring is in the air, and all the little critters acknowledge it by chirp, jump or scurry.

the bigger critters get unserious.

and this me is filled with infinite sadness at the change of light, and deep and painful joy, when the morning light turns greyish-lilac, and the evening light makes all things glow.

and it all reminds me of the mingling of the lights described in the silmarillion. before the darkness came. it all reminds of the light lost, and the light to be gained.

sunday, march eleven

this was a glorious, epic, spectacular fail day.

no, not fail. FAIL.

thus: in order to be in time for the church event, i put up 3 alarms: 6.30, 7.00, 7.30. i woke up at 8.30, and someone had pressed all the alarms without me even as much as remembering getting up and catching the mobile phone. i must be sleepwalking.

then i had to wait for the mystery person to finish whatever they were doing in the bathroom. when they had, i did whatever i had to, and was out on street at 9.30.

i got on the bus. and it turned out my wallet was at home. got off at the next stop. walked back. got my wallet. started everything from the beginning.

i was 2 hrs late. the service was still on. so i was happily standing at the back and contemplating stuff about the church as a place, and church as a community, and church as christ, and came to some interesting insights:

how the darkside has no cookies, but is very powerful anyway

this is how one becomes a dark lord (alternatively to the usual hunger for power and selfishness):

• there is a strong need to protect.
• there is the inability to lose what one loves.
• there is a sense of one’s own power.
• there is a choice in favour of friendship over the system.
• there is an inability to differentiate when the system is the foe, and when it is a friend.
• there is someone one trusts, calling up one’s old fears and failures and making them relevant.
• there is a multiple conflict of loyalties.
• there is the need to protect those one loves.
• the need to protect blinds the inner eye.
• the fight with the system is taken out on one’s friends.
• the battle is fought, and lost, and the dark side picks up the stub, and regrows the limbs, and reveals that all one loved is dead: and it’s one’s own doing;
• the guilt leaves no escape.
• the dark side has the day, on pure guilt alone.