the august nights when the stars are so close

last night i thought: yes, this is my favourite season: it is cool – not chilly, just cool; thru the open window by my bed i see the black silk of the star-strewn sky, framed by treetops.

it all is still. and i am still, like this time of the summer gone and autumn arriving.

and i listen to the voice of god. and i talk to him, like an old friend, wise with years. and i listen, listen, listen.

i am grateful for this summer. it was not easy, but it was beautiful. i still hurt, and i still see the dead, my own and not my own, if i am not careful – or i see them at full moons anyway, and it hurts like anything. but since my journey to czestochowa, something essential has changed, and i have been made whole deep inside, where it matters. i have not figured out all the changes, and there sure are more than i can currently account for…but that, though perplexing and puzzling, does not worry me. i trust god, and i trust those he sends along on my journey.

it is a strange feeling, to have been made whole. i wish i had words for it, but i do not. because i am allergic to big words, and the small words do not apply, so silence is my medium. silence and love.

and the black starry silk of sky is maybe a foreknowledge of heaven. in the sense of peace and communication. and the presence of god.

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