tha diggaz

this night, battling the asthma, i did some thinking of what i have observed in poland and also here, in this city. and this came to my mind’s eye: tha diggaz. 

they are exactly that – diggers. they have human shapes of various sizes and height, and are recognisable by the yellowish-green (sometimes up to lime) jacket with horizontal reflector stripes across the back and the sides. they tend to wear a yellow or orange helmet, jauntily perched on the head. and they have a most intrinsic pattern of replication and migration.

they usually turn up at night, often from sunday to monday, on the roads and streets you have deemed safe for a hurried journey to your workplace. their advent is often preceded by signs such as ‘road works’ or ‘attention’, or simple red-and-white barriers across the road, severely limiting or exhausting any traffic.

whilst waiting in the queue to enter the by-pass, you can observe tha diggaz closer. they seem to rapidly develop pits and other excavations on the street/road, initially stripping the said street/road of the asphalt. at some point the human form becomes restless and inefficient, and tha diggaz evolve yellow machines with specific attachments for scooping out large amounts of earth from the current digging. depending on the time of day, day of the week or, probably, mystical movements of the moon, the complement of machines may include excavators of different sizes and shapes, tractors, bulldozers and other assorted pieces of technology aimed at rapid downward movement through various types of soil.

rain seems to hinder the replication of tha diggaz, dry weather facilitates the growth of the machines and imparts a healthy coating on dust both on tha diggaz and all the immediate vicinity.

the curious thing is – it is impossible to guess where the next tha diggaz infestation will commence. it is impossible to plot a safe route in advance. the only remedy of the situation is found in a timely departure from the point of origin and quick thinking behind the wheel.

on the whole, tha diggaz are not aggressive or malevolent. their strength lies in numbers and unpredictability. they are best to be avoided and left to their own devices, in the hope that this way they will accomplish the intended replication and mysteriously disappear, leaving freshly patched asphalt and almost growing grass in their wake.

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