of the unspoken

it is january. my body remembers the decisions i had to make last year.

and i remember never been able to tell her i love her. or how much i love her. or that i have ever wanted to be able to tell her.

i thought it was more important to do the love. to do the right thing.  to keep the –code. to let he make the passing on.

it feels like… like there is something missing. a missing link perhaps. a hole in the universe.

i could never tell her i missed her either. it would have been.. inappropriate.


so why do i hurt so now. like i had done something wrong.

i wish i could call her, and tell things.

but i cannot.

say something

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