lunch tenses

in “A Scandal In Belgravia”, Irene Adler texts Sherlock Holmes with words:

I am not dead. Let’s have lunch

and i thought: how elegant.

ans i also thought that food, just like verbs, has tenses.

the past of lunch is vegetables and raw meat. the future of vegetables and raw meat is a meal. that kind of thing. and an excellent meal is future perfect.

illustration:

vegetables on a plate

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