january 3, 2013 – or the good, the bad and the hobbit in 3d

there comes a time in everyone’s life, when one has to admit that their brain cannot parse the achievements of technology. that moment in our progress-obsessed society is designated as the point when a preson becomes ‘old’. or ‘oldschool’. or ‘obsolete’.
well, since i accidentally went to see the hobbit by peter jackson, in 3d, hfr (or whatever) – i announce with profound sadness, that i am old, obsolete, backward and anti-progress. give me old good 2d films any time, my brain cannot parse this 3d 480 f/s thing. my visual synapses get overloaded in 10 minutes, and my ears cannot manage the dolby digital noise, and my stomach sends up the breakfast. so muckh for technology.

the film had its merits – little had been left out of the original story, there were some places where the 3d was even justified as an artistic means (the birds flying, the rocks falling, the people appearing), a number of high-grade english jokes and humorous situations – but the drawbacks definitely outweighed the achievements.

first, the plot was undeniably diluted, not to say dissolved by countless fighting scenes. minus the fights, the film would have reached the very watchable length of, say 120 minutes.  the rest was purely unnecessary violence.

second, the medium did not fit the narrative with very few minutes of exception. the film left nothing to imagination, including bits and pieces that showed the flaws in scene composition, make-up, clothes, gandalf-horse interaction, borders between computer-generated and natural scenery. less definition sometimes is more watchability. also, the unfortunate old, dated me got the feeling that this is not a demonstration of the story of the hobbit, but rather – of high technology and some sadistic equipment.

third. with so many predictable violent fighting scenes, the film turned out to be boring, incredibly boring. i actually fell asleep (mostly during the endless fight scenes) for not less than 6 times. this is the first time in my life when i find myself bored to sleep by an action-packed film. congratulations.

conclusion. for myself – try to avoid the format. wait till a dvd comes out, rip it and cut out the boring bits, and never never go to see the hobbit in the cinema again.

for not-me. hmm. this film shows once again that the western world watches but sees not, listens,but hears not. that the cult of progress has demanded the human faculty of imagination for a sacrifice, and this sacrifice has been offered without hesitation.

bottomline: a film for blind and deaf illiterates. if you are not one of them, read the book.

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