Two. Dreams

there’s this. dreams. they are made of something. some people say, dreams are made of us, who we are, what we experience, what we remember or process. maybe they are right. or rather – there is some truth in what they say (about dreams, that is). and yet – there is more to dreams that […]

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twenty-four: the shepherds

i thought of that story of the angels and the shepherds, and coming to see the infant, and i thought of it thus: when you hear the angels inviting, do come and see him. because when we gain the knowledge of the good and evil, we lose the access to eternal life. that life can […]

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twenty – darkness

they say it is darkest before the dawn. i have stayed up for many a night, and i say it is not true – this is one more of those things people say because darkness and dawn are such great contrasts, and one can make so much mystical meaning out of six words, lo and […]

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nineteen – reverence

like that first moment of truth, when the eyes of lovers meet never to be repeated, never lived again, but ever remembered as the foundation of all that was and will be  – that first breath in you extends over all my days and unslept hours. in you all colours are bright, and all the […]

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eighteen – the unexpected

for a moment think – there is this scene slightly after the birth of jesus. and you are there. as one of those personages who do not get named in the scriptures. like an animal, or a person in the street. would you see just a baby and loads of commotion? or maybe just the […]

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seventeen – peace

peace sometimes is found in most unlikely places. and the most unlikely place of all is the human heart, ever restless, turbid, unbalanced. and here is the trick: the peace in the tormented heart cannot come from within, but only from outside. and the peace from outside cannot come from created things, as those are […]

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fifteen – wind

wind a headache and a howl, never stopping, all there, windows trembling, blinding steps, wrap  up in ice, close your eyes, listen, listen – thick gusts full of needles, is all unstuck, undeterred, waiting for no body – keep your soul close, lock it inside, lock it fast, the wind is about to steal it. […]

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fourteen – persistence

at the end of the last film made by Tarkovsky, the sacrifice, there is a  little boy who carries water to a dead tree, because his father has told him a story about a dead tree coming to life if watered daily. now his father is gone, and the boy continues alone. and then he is resting […]

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twelve – companionship

in all times there have been people who fear god in a very particular way. they walk with god as companions. and often very little is known about them. i wonder why. maybe because this companionship cannot be expressed in human words? or rather – because the human words narrow the companionship down to trivia, […]

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ten – dreams

when you think of it – dreams sometimes come true. and when one returns to the dream places, something changes. no, not the terrain. the self and the perception maybe, the way the terrain is seen…

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nine – the time for comfort

when the spirit is downcast, and the heart is broken, the prophet has to come in the name of the lord with words of comfort, light and healing. there are many among us who need this word of comfort and hope. and we who have been saved and comforted, are called to bring this word, […]

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seven – a city on a hilltop

you are a city on a hill. a very small, thick-walled city on a very large and high hill. those that master the steeple and penetrate your walls, get lost in your convoluted streets. you protect your own. but sometimes those who inhabit you would benefit from a map, something that would make sense of […]

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six – the colour white

white reflects all light. so the thought of purity and so on is a little far-fetched, yet many still adhere to it. white does not allow anything too close to contaminate it. it is the colour of aloofness. and yet – when the white snow covers the mud and the little (and the gross) indiscretions […]

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four – mute love

when love does not want  to interfere, it becomes mute. it exists, yet is unpronounced, unfulfilled an unfinished, as love can find its fullness only in the unity with the other it is directed at. such love dies  – as a plant that has been cut in two. or sprouts into strange and bizarre things […]

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three – back to zero

there is so much talking of debts theses days. national debts, international debts, global debts, private debts, study debts…. it seems everyone owes everyone huge sums of virtual money. and this leads to depressive oppression, and inability to create and develop. it is a deadlock, really. and i think – what if the powers in […]

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one – an event and a promise

by pure serendipity (i have really wanted to use this word in a text for some time, and here it is) i was a witness to the performance of this oratorio in the new st. gertrude’s tonight, by an excellent latvian choir, exquisite orchestra and fabulous, fabulous soloists (sergejs jēgers’ singing just blew the top […]

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