good friday 2015

for those who wonder – i live because Christ does. there is no other way, no alternative, however crazy this sound. every good friday, for the past 20 years or so, i think of Christ’s death. of the narratives that are read and repeated endlessly for at least 15 hundred years. whom he met. who […]

Read More good friday 2015

give god a place

the purpose of advent is to prepare for christmas. the purpose of christmas is… what is the purpose of christmas? one answer, rather unpopular, would be: to remember that god came into the history as Jesus, and did all those great things. another answer, slightly more popular, would go thus: christmas is the time for […]

Read More give god a place

parallels and juxtapositions

what shall i name you? ever have you been close by. in the sky, and in soil, in parched sod and in mud, over the treetops and by the roots and fallen leaves, and yea, even in the season of spring when all is reborn, have i felt your breath. you have taught me patience, […]

Read More parallels and juxtapositions

things taken for granted

watching my fav cat play crazily with the blankets, this came to my mind: there are things taken for granted, which are exactly that – granted. just as they are granted, so can they be taken away, or lost. and then i tried to make a list: ability to play ability to be surprised ability […]

Read More things taken for granted

possessive modality

my memories. of her last days. my body remembers uncontrollably. these are my possessions, my riches, my hoard: my pain and my love for her. i wish i had found the courage to tell her, to verbalise my love and care, to make them known with words also. the unsaid festers and burns, and can be disposed […]

Read More possessive modality

a coffee cup of eternity

the froth on the coffee goes up, then slowly diminishes, as we trade cookies, and looks, and tidbits of very usual lives. some sugar, no cream, and have you heard of so-and-so, remember him from the way back. did you know he was dead? then share a meaningful silence, shake heads and coffee spoons, breathe […]

Read More a coffee cup of eternity

multilevel forgetfulness

on the borders of sleep, between what is and what will never be, or maybe, between what was and what only seemed, she steps in. grey, and a little bent over her walking stick, she hovers at the margins of perception, and i know her, always have known. she is my mother. or what i […]

Read More multilevel forgetfulness

comparatively

even when death is but passing, it towers and looms over the traveller home; the things important on the linear path get brushed under the quiet rock, the immense carpet made by transcendent hands; death is but passing – you know it, and i, and yet we stay

Read More comparatively

Fifteen. Believing

isn’t it strange, how teachers believe in their students? they [teachers] believe in their [student] creativity. their talent. their strength and ambition to achieve something. they [teachers] seem to see in the realm beyond the fear, anxiety, plain stupidity and lack of graces, social or otherwise. see right through the now and here into some […]

Read More Fifteen. Believing

the ents

my father watched the second part of the lord of the rings, way back when it came out on the dvd. the only thing he thought real enough was the ents. ‘because this is how the forest should be, i’ve seen that,’ he said. and now, for him, the lord of the rings is about […]

Read More the ents

when all else crumbles

this remains. like the breath, like the blood that flows through the veins, like the earth under us and the sky above, and infinitely, untestably more. even when things fall apart, or when church happens to one, even then Christ is not far. he is actually very, very near. because church happened to him, too. […]

Read More when all else crumbles

the wager

In his Pensées Pascal writes: 233. Infinite- nothing. — Our soul is cast into a body, where it finds number, dimension. Thereupon it reasons, and calls this nature necessity, and can believe nothing else. Unity joined to infinity adds nothing to it, no more than one foot to an infinite measure. The finite is annihilated in the presence […]

Read More the wager

the empty graves

“but i want to go to your mother’s grave,” she said. “you can come or not, it does not matter,” she added. “but i’d appreciate a navigator.” “i do not see what i’ve forgotten there,” i said. “but ok, i’ll go.” and so we went. the day was bright and sunny, the road characteristically abysmal, […]

Read More the empty graves

breathlessly follow

in a world of duplicity, the cherry blossoms flutter like something unearthly, we stop, and watch the silent destruction, all in pinks and whites, and greens of the grass that will commemorate our oblivion.

Read More breathlessly follow

perpetual fragility

whilst armies march, and their survivors debate who won and who lost, and how much each one deserves, whilst people take sides or walk unreservedly, intensely by, whilst birds hastily mate and make nests and bring forth their young, whilst teenagers try out a first smoke right behind monuments to all sorts of holocaust, and […]

Read More perpetual fragility