there are no ordinary moments. there is no starting, no stopping. only being. it is the journey that brings us satisfaction, not the goal.


made many

only the broken bread feeds thousands. only the broken spirit is healed, and then brings grace to others. and there is so much more left over than what you started with, or had, or hoped for. Posted by Wordmobi

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neither man nor woman. human. not the glands, the spirit matters. i talk to the human inside. Posted by Wordmobi

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after you lose the first passion, when you come to meet others of your kind, bring with you not the despair, but the hope born of despair, the future unseen, the truth to be shared, thus you will save those look to you. Posted by Wordmobi

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the first to go

what was first to go? the fire or the creativity, or the poetry? i looked at the things i did way back, 20 years ago, and they were so bright and shiny and sparkling, like they had been born for the first time. maybe they were. maybe that world was so young and so willing […]

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doubt is necessary in order to be sure of two things: oneself, and the subject. oneself, because it excludes hasty emotions and conclusions based on them. the subject- because when all the unnecessary ir cut off, whatever is necessary, remains. however impossible, what remans, is true. doubt opens the eyes of faith, and the self […]

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tonight i suddenly understood that my irreversible wish for my body to be cremated after death, and the ashes to be scattered by the lakeside, had two beginnings. first, to become a part of this land after death, to return what belongs to earth, to this earth, fast and irretrievably. second, to have no grave. […]

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25 ml valerian away from certain self-destruction. how long or when. wherefore. whereto. as it is said: Ne mæg werig mod wyrde wiðstondan, ne se hreo hyge helpe gefremman. [The weary cannot stand against doom, nor can the troubled procure help (think of being helped)] whtever the wyrd is. its just this all-exhaustive tiredness, endless […]

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the bringing back bit

Lamentations 5:21 (NCV) reads Bring us back to you, Lord, and we will return. Make our days as they were before. how does one return to the first love? or – does the first love ever return? i dont know. its just that the memory of ir grows so strong, so unbearable, so overwhelming, that […]

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i read this recently: charging is what the dawn is for. (Jingo. T. Pratchett) there are rules that bind. and if one does things differently, they do not qualify. neither the things, not the person. they just dont.

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Love nails one down to freedom. It screams wordlessly, burns in cold fire, freezes hells and breaks all that is, simultaneously creating anew. Love imprisons liberatingly. It is realised only post factum, post mortem, post vitam. And yet- sine carita non. It is all the paradigms, declensions and conjugations, degrees of comparison and any other […]

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in the chicken run, the farmer at some point admitted that it was all in his head (see the film for more details). and then i thought – yes, maybe it is really so – it all is in me head. i am imagined, perceived, invented etc. the virtuality is more real sometimes that reality, […]

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if the avatar walks over a place where there is no more support but just “thin air”, it will fall down out of the screen and die Andrejs Kļaviņš so, the important thing is, not to fall out of the screen. thin air is a bad place to walk, really. but it is the only […]

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was playing sacred, to calm my nerves. and suddenly discovered the obvious: namely, that my character/hero gained the largest portion of exp (experience points, enable it/me grow physically and mentally) from actual killing of monsters, aggressive animals, hostiles. and it struck me as absurdly true: that it is from killing and losses, that we obtain […]

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was watching enchanted. a film about different perceptions of time. because that is what most of the misunderstandings and pain and alienation come from- the lack of time, unwillingness to listen, to say the important before your interloctor is dead. the mythological time has space for people.

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there is this issue of absurdity, connected with easter. the event of resurrection is so absurd, it must be real. and the thing about faith, too: if sth. were really real, what would be the need for faith? none. therefore, resurrection. is knowing and believing the same? no. knowing excludes believing, and vice versa, as […]

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titles are the most difficult. it is much easier to construct a difficult poem than it is to make a title that fits. this i considered posting the english poems on the pages. ——————— and then again, why do i do all this? coz these are texts that are interesting to me and me only. […]

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To Christ

when it is night, and the streets are dark and slippery; when november freezes into winter, when candles burn like lost souls, when mind is numb and scattered with leaves; I also point my compass heavenwards.

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The Latvian has a relationship with their land. Land is a woman, to be tended, guarded,cherished, conquered and enslaved.Yes, even raped. It is a traditional role-play that goes on when a Latvian encounters their land. It seems that other nations have moved on in their discourse of land- and agrarian-related feelings thoughts and passions. For […]

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Smoking shoes

Sometime I asked God: if you really are, kill me, destroy me, put an end to all my blundering, babbling existence. Only much later did I realise that there is no use for God to prove his existence to a pair of smoking shoes. There would be nobody to appreciate, sort of.

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